Spotted: The Art of People Watching

Victim #2: Now while the boy in the hat could be seen as a little strange, it is the woman with the blue hair that I am directly referring to. What you are looking at is not a wig, and most definitely not a joke. One of her relatives described her to me as “crazy.” I never would have guessed.

Well there are a few things to point out, besides the fact that she dyed her hair an electrifying blue. Firstly, she matched her hair to her sweater. If you’re going to attempt pulling off blue hair, especially at her age, at least attempt to wear something a little less…blue. Unless that is she’s attempting to look like a smurf.

Another thing that should be pointed out is that she was the grandmother of the bride. Anyone, including myself, who had never met the bride or her family would find it quite concerning that he grandmother voluntarily dyed her hair blue. If this gene runs in the family, the bride could decide to go neon green and dye her kids hair purple. Who knows!

Needless to say, the woman seemed to have no clue that everyone and their mother was staring at her during her grandiose entrance, and while she was in the buffet line, and while she was eating. You get the point. I guess while having blue hair if you are a human is a little off putting, she did wear it with confidence. Unfortunately, confidence can’t fix blue hair on an 80 year old woman.

Moral of the story? If you are old and crazy, dont put salt in the wound and dye your hair an obnoxious color.

Tip to my fellow people watchers: If you are at a banquet or other formal event, you have to be sneaky. Pull out your phone and zoom

Victim #1: This intelligent young lad, after drinking an obnoxious amount of alcohol, went to McDonalds to get some food (at least 12 dollars worth from what I could tell). Upon walking into our apartment building, stumbling in rather, he looked up at us and the bottom of his bag fell through and his treasured meal was now all over the ground. Bummer. He proceeded to pick up the contents of the bag, eat a fry, and get on the elevator.

Ten minutes later, literally ten minutes later, he walked off the elevator and says, “The elevator isn’t working.” Clearly he’s a winner. Only took ten minutes to realize he wasn’t on the third floor.

Moral of this story? Someone is always watching. OH, and dont eat off the floor. At least wait until you’re on the elevator.

Tip to my fellow people watchers: watching drunk people is always more fun. They think you’re laughing with them, not at them. Plus they clearly don’t realize that you’re snapping pictures of them, even when the flash goes off.

Ok, so we’ve all done it, and don’t lie and say you haven’t. People watching. It’s a perfectly normal (and quite enjoyable) activity. There are some very strange people out there, and it’s easy to look at them and wonder: “What in the world is this person thinking? Who raised them to think that it is okay to wear that/do that/look like that/etc.”

I am one of those people who takes people watching to a new level. In my mind, people watching is a sport. I enjoy every minute of it, and ironically enough, the people most worth watching often come to me. I never have to look for them. My friends love getting texts of these beautiful people around me, and I figure I should grace the world with them as well. 

WARNING: Some images may be graphic and incredibly disturbing. Not meant for people easily offended or amateur people watchers. This stuff gets pretty intense.

Now, on to the good stuff. Enjoy my fellow people watchers.